I think the only real way to get excited about life is to be grateful. I’m talking about being truly grateful and not just the airy fairy wishful thinking kinda grateful, for example “Oh, I’m grateful for this tree, I’m grateful for sunshine” when in actual reality you don’t really give a fuck about these things. Yeah they are nice, but do you really appreciate it? Are you truly grateful about it? I think that’s where I’ve been caught in the past, TRYING to be grateful for things that ‘I THINK’ I should be because of some belief that people who are happy, people who a spiritually enlightened are grateful for everything and anything, even ants! And I should be like that; I should go around being grateful for ants and appreciating them when in actual reality I hate them. I find them annoying, especially in summer and hate having to deal with them when there are a shitload of them. It’s kinda funny now when I think about it, I’d go around thinking and trying to feel grateful for things that I don’t really care about and then get frustrated when things don’t work or I’m not happy and complain that being grateful is just a load of bullshit that doesn’t work!
I’m now only starting to realise that it isn’t because being grateful doesn’t work, it’s because of the things I’m being grateful about. Being truly grateful/appreciative of something that has some significance or holds some kind of feelings for you, brings about a very different energy and most importantly intention, then being grateful for the sake of being grateful. For me, I forced myself to be grateful because I thought it would make things better, it would help me attract more of what I wanted in my life and less of what I didn’t want. I thought as long as I said I was grateful then that’s all the ‘universe’ needed. My motivation was purely to get something out of it, emotionally it was more out of desperation. Being grateful for things just for the sake of it created no emotional excitement within me whatsoever. There were no feelings, there was no charge and there was absolutely no energy behind my words. Haha ok so this is all just my long –winded way of saying I am no longer going to be grateful for the sake of being grateful. I don’t appreciate ants so I’m not going to pretend to like them. I know trees are important and play a vital role on this planet, but being grateful for them creates no emotional excitement within me whatsoever. My mind and my vibrational energy will be a whole lot better being grateful that fuck I am awesome enough to write this post, I’m grateful for the motivation to write this post. That instantly creates a feeling of excitement within me. It’s also a relief to realise that it’s ok if I’m not grateful for everything and anything, me not being grateful for the sunshine or ants doesn’t make me less spiritual or less of a person than someone who is truly grateful for these things. I no longer need to live by the illusion that I need to love the world in an airy fairy wishful thinking kind of way and that everything is peachy. When I look for the things that really create a sense of gratitude to me, things will start to flow easier; life itself will just be exciting. Who knows, I may learn to be truly grateful about ants too one day! = D
Random Rambling
So it’s been a month since my last blog and I think like thousands of other new bloggers, I hit a brick wall with it. At the start I was so excited about it, I had heaps of ideas on what to blog about and got excited when I saw people viewing and liking my posts. But then the motivation kinda just stopped. I think the misconception with blogging is that it’s simple (you just think of a topic and write), the process is easy, but definitely not that simple. Which then got me thinking, why am I not motivated to blog anymore? What’s the real reason behind it? The first thing that comes to mind is that when you are blogging or when I’m blogging about the topics I want too, I have to hold myself to a certain standard. I have to tap into my own resources and be/act differently to be able to get into the right frame of mind to even blog. When I am blogging I feel like I need to tap into a different perspective (a higher level of consciousness maybe). To me, the ‘blogger’ me is very different to the ‘everyday’ me. Ha, obviously that distinction right there is a limiting belief in itself. Maybe if I redefine that distinction and don’t see these two aspects of myself being separate, the desire to blog will just start flowing again. I have to admit even though I know I’m just rambling right now, I’m loving the feeling. Like I said when I blog I feel like I’m tapping into a higher consciousness, I feel like I have to hold myself to a higher standard.
Ok, enough of the random rambling, let’s talk about something more interesting. Space. This is a topic that I have been wanting to blog about for a while, but like I said the motivation to blog about it just wasn’t there. Maybe I wasn’t ready to really process this concept a couple of weeks ago, whatever the reason I think I am ready now. Creating space in your life for things is really important, obviously if you don’t allow space for it, how can it come into your life? Space, creating space is about letting go of limiting beliefs, beliefs that control your life in a way that you block certain things coming into it because you are scared, scared of what they will bring, scared of what they will mean. And because of this, you don’t give room for anything to move. You say you really want something, and you probably do, but the reason why you don’t have it in your life at this very moment is because you haven’t allowed any space for it to come in. Again, this comes back down to what you have associate as pain and pleasure. On the surface you may think that one thing is going to give you a certain amount of pleasure, but deep down you unconsciously may have a belief that says otherwise. Dig deep, discover what the belief is and evaluate it, is it really serving you, is this the life that you want? If it isn’t go deeper, define what you are afraid off, the quickest way is to think about what you want and think, what is the worst thing that can happen in this situation? More often than not, this will allow you to discover what you are truly scared off and what is stopping you from experiencing what you want right now.
For me, like many others, financial abundance is something I really really want! But at the moment it hasn’t arrived yet in my life…why? Am I scared of what this will bring? Scared of the changes? I think I use to be, but now I feel as though I am ready for these changes, I know with change there is some level of uncertainty. These past few months have made me realise that I am capable of being strong on my own. I don’t need to be scared of uncertainty because I feel that now I know whatever does happen I can handle it. What’s my biggest fear? Having people be unhappy. But I can’t control other people’s emotions. I can love them and be there for them, but if they choose to be unhappy then no amount of anything that I do will change that. Especially me sacrificing my own happiness or standards to make them feel better. What else? What am I afraid off that will happen if I get the financial abundance that I deserve? That then I won’t have any excuses to move forward in my life? To put myself out there and just do something? Or is it I just don’t believe that I can attract that amount of money into my life? If that’s the case, haven’t I been given enough examples of how awesome I am at manifesting anything I want? Money has never really been a big issue for me..I’ve been lucky enough to live comfortably. I’ve always had money when I needed it. Maybe that’s the thing, I’ve been comfortable, so I’ve only ever made space for just ‘enough’ money to be comfortable in my life. This whole journey isn’t about being ‘comfortable’ or doing just enough, it’s about realising and allowing for what I deserve to come into my life, it’s about finally focusing on me and realising my own true greatness.
Heart Activation
‘You can not solve a problem with the same mind that created it’ Albert Einstein.
I’m paraphrasing here, but a study was done to show that whenever you can’t figure something out or are stressed, when they measured the molecular responses from your brain and heart, they are radically different but when you breathe in your heart for two minutes they go in sync. In this state your brain will have a different answer.
I copied and paste this from another site: = P
Heart Breathing
- Place both hands over your heart
- Close your eyes
- Relax your body and your face
- Now breathe deeply into your heart and out through your heart
- Really connect to and feel your own heart
Do this for 2 minutes. You may certainly notice changes within even the first few breaths, but keep going and allow yourself to be in this space for a longer period of time. Don’t run away or cut yourself short. Remain in this space and offer yourself this gift.
Rampage
I’m on my way. I’m letting go of resistance. I acknowledge and appreciate that I have take the longer route but its because of this that I have gained my depth. I’m on my way. Everything is on my side, my life is meant to go well. I’m doing well, I may have my upstream moments but that’s ok because I know that by knowing what I don’t want I also realise what I do what and everything I want is coming my way and I’m allowing it too. Everything I want will be given to me and I will gratefully accept it with open arms. With every step I am growing and expanding. I’m doing ok, no I’m doing great! I’m excited, I’m excited for what is yet to come, I’m excited to see how far I can reach and all the awesome things I can achieve. Everything always works out for me and when they seem like they aren’t, it might initially be a shock to me but I will soon remember that it will always work out for my benefit in the end. I’m on my way, I’m excited about the new day. I’m letting go. All that I ever wanted is mine for the taking. The universe, my higher-self is always only ever supporting me in getting what I want. I’ve been very blessed in my life. Everything is happening for my well- being. Whatever happens I will be ok, I am ok. I’ve been given a gift, I am a gift, I’m not scared of what’s to come because I know whatever it is, it’s for my benefit. I will learn what I need to learn. I am constantly being guided, all I need to do is allow for all these good things to flow into my life and they will. I don’t need to push or struggle, it is effortless, it is easy, it is fun. I am on my way. I love this, I love this freedom, I love the hope, I love the expectancy, I love the excitement, I love the gratitude. This is easy, all that I ever wanted is flowing towards me and I’m eagerly awaiting to allow and accept all this well-being into my life. And when it arrives I will be grateful, I am grateful. I’m grateful for the support, I’m grateful for the love, I’m grateful for the chance, I’m grateful for me. Lets begin!
Gratitude
So for some reason I have an overwhelming need to write a post about being grateful for what is happening to me at this moment and also for my beautiful baby cousin. My cousin you see is one very strong young woman. In a space of only 3 months she has completely changed her life and perspective. She is someone who took the plunge, made the hard decision and went after what she deserves. She broke up with her long-term boyfriend and left behind a business that she put her heart and soul in. If that wasn’t hard enough, she didn’t come back to a family full of love and support, but a family that didn’t understand (and didn’t want to understand) her need, no her right to go after ‘more’. As I said, my cousin is a very strong woman, but she is also one of the most generous people I know. Show her the tiniest bit of kindness and she will move heaven and earth for you. She has a thirst for learning and her commitment to growth and expansion is something I truly admire. Although it may seem like she is going through this journey alone, she isn’t. I am truly grateful to Mr. A for his role in her growth. His guidance I am sure has not only opened her eyes to new possibilities, I have no doubt it has also given her the strength to do what she has done. It’s funny, despite all the obstacles she faces she is finally putting herself first and because of this, other people benefit. Both Mr. A and I are benefitting from her tremendously and she doesn’t even know it. So to my beautiful baby cousin, keep going; wherever your excitement leads you I am sure your life will become a story of great example.
I also have a lot to be grateful for in my own life. I won’t go into any specifics about a major recent event but I am starting to accept and appreciate that all that is happening at this moment is all about and FOR ME. I want to take this opportunity to sincerely thank Mr. A for all his love and support. I am starting to realize the depth of your love for me (even though you have spent the last 10 years showing me) I am only now strong enough in my own self love to finally see and accept that you for some crazy reason love me. = P
I’ve always been so quick to take the negative side of things, I now know it’s because I have certain beliefs attached to them. With whatever is happening at this moment, I no longer doubt. Whatever happens I will be ok, we will be ok. It is beautiful synchronicity that you dedicated this song to me today.
EDIT
I wanted to elaborate more about my cousin and the example and assistance she is giving me just by putting herself first. She doesn’t know it, but what she is doing is giving me huge support on my journey to self-fulfilment. Because of her I am given the opportunity to grow and have certain things in my life be ok. Because of her I am able to tackle my moSt confronting negative belief in a ‘secured’ environment. In some ways she is my best bet in achieving my ultimate scenario. She is helping me and I’m fucking glad she is here.
Underlying Beliefs
So why do we do the things that we do? As I mentioned in my first post fundamentally it comes down to PAIN and PLEASURE. Whether or not we are conscious about the motivations behind our actions, we will always do the things that we perceive will bring us pleasure and avoid the actions that we think will give us pain. Lately I’ve been listening to Bashar (youtube him, he will change your life), I’m still trying to process the information, intellectually I get it but I want to be able to ‘get it’ on a more deeper level. So hopefully by writing this post and explaining it, I will.
Everything in life is about choice. How we CHOOSE to perceive things, how we CHOOSE to react to certain situations, what actions we CHOOSE to take, we always have a choice and we will always choose what we think is more pleasurable. At first this concept was hard for me to accept. Why the hell would I choose to be sad instead of being happy? Or ‘I had no other choice. I had to do this, it wasn’t up to me’. Then I started to think about certain actions that I was taking, actually it was more like my lack of action. For example, I was always complaining that I was fat and wanted to get into shape, go to gym regularly, diet and eat right blah blah…but my actions, my choices were always the opposite. Instead of picking healthy eating options or sticking to a diet, I would rather pig out and over indulge on all the greasy ‘good’ stuff. I blamed it on lack of will power or justified it by saying ‘ I want to live and enjoy life’. Now I actually understand that it’s because I associated more pain to going to the gym and eating healthy to feeling fat and constantly complaining about it. Going to the gym and eating healthy required me to put in effort (yes, this is a reoccurring theme in my life). Whereas just on the action level of things, it’s easier to just complain about it. Going deeper into this, on an emotional level, wouldn’t feeling bad and ashamed about my body and all the unworthiness emotional baggage that came with this be more painful? Why would I get any pleasure with feeling like this? But I did. Being truly honest it gave me connection, connection with myself. Feeling like shit, depressed and unloved in some way allowed me to connect and love myself? (I know sounds rather strange and stupid). So I was getting pleasure in feeling like this, it allowed me to go ‘poor me’, allowed me to seek reassurance from Mr. A, although the shit thing was I never believed his reassurance, allowed me to hide behind excuses (my ultimate source of comfort). It was like a vicious emotional cycle, a negative path to achieving my ultimate want.
So how do we move beyond this? Logically it should just be a matter of associating more pleasure with the scenario/thing that you want and more pain with what you don’t want, right? But I think that’s where most of us get stuck, as I mentioned above, intellectually getting what I want should be more pleasurable. Getting the body I want should be more pleasurable then feeling ashamed about my body, I can easily come up with a list of benefits with getting into shape and feeling good. Intellectually I know there is way more pleasure with having my desired body. So why the hell am I still not doing it?? Because I’m only changing my association with things on an intellectual level, the key here would be to change things on an emotional level as well. Your emotions are your driving force and your emotions are determined by your BELIEFS. Use your emotions as your guide and then examine these motions and find your underlying belief; that’s how you will create a total shift in perspective. I identified that emotionally I was associating more pleasure/benefits with just complaining and being dissatisfied with myself. That’s why I never had the motivation or conviction to follow through with the actions I need to do to get my desired body, even though intellectually I knew the benefits. So now I’ve identified the emotion benefit that I got from complaining and never taking action, I now need to look at the beliefs that I had to support these emotions. Some examples of these beliefs are:
– Eating healthy means eating boring bland things. It means not enjoying my food.
– Going to the gym and working out means physical effort. Working out is so hard.
– My body would never look as good as the pictures I see in magazines even if I work out.
There are way more beliefs I have to support my emotions, some that don’t even seem to have any direct connection with this issue but do. Explore these beliefs, what do you really think about them? Can you change these beliefs and reframe them to be more positive? Can you even replace them all together? This allows you to evaluate why you think the way you think and do what you do. I’ve recently learnt a more effective tool is to think about the situation you want and examine what is the worst case scenario that could happen in this situation and then look at the beliefs you have attached to this because this is probably the underlying issue that is stopping you from moving towards what you want. Sometimes I find even just by stopping and examining the situation very liberating, because it lets you see that there is choice in everything and when there is choice, things just don’t seem as bad because there is an alternative.
Self evaluation is something so powerful but not all of us take the time to stop and really think about the underlying beliefs we have that shape every single thing we do and if we do take the time, even fewer take the step further to change the beliefs that don’t serve us. Remember, beliefs are just thoughts we keep having. What are your underlying negative beliefs?
Steps to Becoming the Ideal You
Step 1: THINK
Think about the type of person you want to be. Imagine how would you look? how would you act? What image resonates with you? Makes you excited to live like this person?
Step 2: DEFINE IT
Write it all down, every single aspect of this person. What type of values would they have? What beliefs? How would they think and/or react in certain situations? What type of knowledge would they have? Skills? Physical attributes? Posture? How would they dress? Etc…
Step 3: ACT
Now act from this new perspective. Keep reinforcing the new state and acting from this. Tackle situations and take action from this perspective. How would I react to this? How would I be thinking? How would I behave? Do the activities the ideal you would be doing. Dress the way they would dress. Learn and gain the knowledge and skills the ideal you would have. You must keep reinforcing this new perspective. Initially it will require conscious effort, but with every action and step you are moving closer to the ideal you and soon instead of acting as if, you will be.
Step 4: EXPERIMENT AND EVALUATE
Evaluate what is working and what isn’t. Experiment with different things, keep what works and change what doesn’t. This is the process; this is where you will grow because you will constantly be adding new depth with everything you do.
- Along the way you will face certain negative feelings or issues that won’t be aligned with the ideal you. DON’T IGNORE THIS, instead evaluate it. Why did you react like this? Is this just an illusion you created? (Making it worse than it is, rather then seeing it as it is or better then it is). What underlying beliefs do you have to make this seem true? This is your opportunity to work out all your little kinks.
- Keep operating from the perspective of the ideal you. You must keep reinforcing it, in your thoughts and behaviors. This will lead to a total conscious shift, add depth and bring a new perspective. You will constantly be learning and growing.
- Make sure you are first and foremost operating from the perspective that you are PERFECT. There is nothing you have to fix or change. This is merely an opportunity for you to become closer to who you really are. For you to get excited about life, for you to become more.
- Lastly, always be grateful. Existing is worthiness in itself. Every situation and thing is here, happening for YOU. Be grateful, operate from this perspective.
So, who is the ideal you?
Taking One Step Further
Realisation is the first step. Seeing things for ‘as they are’ is the place I am at now. In the past my thought patterns would have me seeing things ‘worse then they are’. Over the past few months I have started to analyse my thoughts and behaviours but that’s where my progress stops. I’d make a realisation, have an ‘ah-huh’ moment, stop and repeat the cycle. As I said realisation is the first step, it’s now time to move beyond that and take a step further up the growth ladder. Time to start asking ‘what next?’. I’ve made this realisation, so what am I going to do about it? Take action? More exploration? Learn? There are so many things, start by seeing things ‘better then they are’ and take a step closer to that!
Taking a Step Closer
So I woke up yesterday and checked my blog stats, not expecting to see any figures as I doubted anyone could find my blog let alone even read it. But to my surprise I actually got my first follower, 2 likes, 1 comment and a handful of page views! My initial reaction was one of excitement but that quickly turned into doubt. The ugly head of my underlying belief was starting to creep up on me, “The comment is probably spam, the people liking your blog and following it probably go around liking everyone’s so that doesn’t count and they will probably never come visit again anyways”. It’s kinda funny and scary at the same time how your beliefs ripple through and pretty much determine the way you look and approach life. How different would my life be now if in the past I approached it with the feeling and thoughts of ‘ I am worthy’ and loved myself instead? Just by changing one single thought I could change my whole life.
Haha turns out that my assumptions were all true, BUT I realised it didn’t matter. Fact is, I have 1 comment, 1 follower, 2 likes and a handful of page views (which I figured out later was mostly Mr. A = P ). The most important thing was I actually felt excited when I thought people were reading my blog. In the past I would have reacted with discouragement, think up all kinds of shit to put myself down and reinforce my negative beliefs. Which has now just got me thinking about Tony Robbins pain and pleasure principle ‘All human behavior is motivated by two things – seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.‘ On the surface, the feeling of discouragement and putting myself down seems pretty negative and painful, who in their right mind would rather feel sad, depressed and unworthy over feeling happy and excited? But when I think about it these feelings is what I use to protect myself. I use these feelings as an excuse so I actually don’t have to do or face up to anything uncomfortable. Feeling discouraged and not good enough for anything allows me to avoid growing. Because growing is fucken scary. Growing, being excited and happy about life means me taking responsibility. Being excited and following your true passion and joy gives you less room to hide behind excuses. In order for you to grow and reach your true potential in life you actually have to do something, face your fears and work outside your comfort zone. Being in the driver’s seats rather then a backseat passenger. Honestly, even as I re-read what I just wrote I’m getting scared, it feels easier, more comfortable to give into self-discouragement. My mind is saying ‘lets go back, growing is hard and scary, lets go back. I don’t want to take responsibility’. But I won’t, I can’t. Maybe this is the old me’s struggling attempt to survive, to pull me back but even if I wanted too, I know I can’t. Just by writing this post I’ve already taken a step closer to becoming the true me. Growing is scary yes, but the rewards along the way far out weigh the false sense of comfort hiding behind excuses gives.
A story Mr. A told me last week seems fitting to end this post with. I am not much of a story teller and the old me would of made him retell (or in this case, type) this story, but because this is my blog, I will have too = D (see already working out of my comfort zone).
“A bird sits in a tree and whistles a song every morning. One day a stranger walks past and says to the bird “Thank you! your whistling is so beautiful and brightens up my day.” The bird looks at the stranger and says “Ok, cool. I’m just doing my own thing and if you enjoy it that’s great!”. Then another stranger walks past and says to the bird “I hate your whistling, its annoying and wakes me up everyday.” The bird looks at the stranger and replies “Ok, cool. I’m just doing my own thing and if you don’t enjoy it then that’s fine but I’m still going to do my own thing.”
Even though the main lesson behind the story is one of ‘detachment’ and focusing on yourself, another lesson I got was how your actions (small or big) can have an effect on other people. So THANK YOU Russell Deasley and Ido Lanuel for your likes and Mr. A for your vigorous clicking . Even though you will probably never visit this page again, I want to say that your simple act of ‘doing what you normally would do or doing your own thing” has made a huge difference in some stranger’s life. You have given me something to be excited about and the courage to grow.
Time to Expand
Another blog to add to the millions if not billions already existing. I have to admit I probably have a handful that I’ve created but never posted on. So what’s going to be different about this one? I’m not sure, all I know is that it’s time for me to expand so I’m going to do my very best to keep this going.
In about two months I’ll be turning 30, so it seems fitting that I’m starting this journey at this point in my life. Starting this blog is the first step, I’ve never considered myself as a good writer simply put I’ve never had the confidence to put my thoughts out there, to give my opinions on anything. I use to justify it by saying ‘I don’t want to be the type of person who forces their opinions onto others’ which is just an excuse. An excuse to hide behind because I’m scared of what others would think, an excuse because I was scared shitless to defend my opinions against others.
I never really gave much thought about why I do the things I do, or how I felt about myself. I go about my daily life with not much thought about anything, kinda living life unconsciously. Only recently have I started to stop and analyse my thoughts and not surprisingly I’ve realised that I don’t have much self-esteem. My underlying belief is ‘I’m not good enough’ and this governs every single aspect of my life. Intellectually I know that every single person on this planet is important because of the simple fact that they exist. But do I feel worthy? Not really. In short, this is what this blog will be about. My journey on finding self-love and discovering the TRUE ME. In the words of Muhammad Ali: ” I’m going to show you how great I am!” and from the words of my very wise boyfriend, I am going to start from the perspective that I am perfect and grow from here. = D
FindingMeForTime 